Your friend asks you if you want to grab a bite to eat this weekend. Your initial instinct is to smile and say “let me think about it” or “I’ll have to see if I’m free.” You know you’re free. You know that you should hang out with your friend if you actually want to maintain any sort of relationship with them. You know that you’ll probably end up doing nothing this weekend anyway. And yet, you find yourself simply unable to commit to a couple hours of hanging out and building a meaningful relationship… with someone who actually offered to spend time with you. Why is it so difficult to say yes and actually mean it?

Most people chalk it up to social anxiety. I get anxious being around other people. I get uncomfortable when I’m outdoors. I just can’t be bothered to engage with others unless it’s on my own time and at my convenience. Then when the invites stop coming around, you begin to wonder why. It’s not your fault. You really were busy…doing absolutely nothing.

Yes, you may have social anxiety. Yes, hanging out with other people is tiring. And yet, it’s still something you need to do. Just like going to work, it’s a commitment that takes effort if you want to get better at it. You are paid in emotional connections and the bonds you form with others, which are essential for us as humans to function. So the next time someone asks you to hang out, do yourself a favor and say yes. Your brain will thank you for it in the long run.